The random and the weak

The office is throwing me a farewell reception. You think, "Oh how lovely!" I think, "oh god, why?!"

I hate being the focus, that center of attention. My nightmare scenario that leaves me anxious and bewildered just thinking about it: at a restaurant, someone tells the wait staff it's my birthday, they make me stand on a chair and everyone in the restaurant sings at me (I also imagine that I am wearing a sombrero at this point). My skin crawls, my eyes get shifty, and I'm a wreck just sitting here thinking about it.

So, I'm at my desk, minding my own business when this convo comes out of nowhere and attacks me:

Co-Worker (CW from now on): Anna, will you be here on May 14 since you will be gone on the 10th?

me (shaken from my afternoon daze): Umm....let me check my calendar...yeah, I'll be here.

CW: Oh good! We'll have your reception then and it will replace the students' Coffee Hour for that day.

Ambushed and defeated, I slump back into my chair, miserable and angry at being duped. When I gave my "Hey, I'm leaving" notice, I mentioned then that a reception was not necessary and I didn't like that kind of thing. Christmas is awful when they stand me in front of faculty and students and talk about me and then hand me a gift. I usually have a beer or two in me to fortify and then I leave quickly after to go and drink more.

30 seconds later I hear "ping!" and this announcement shows up:

Hi Everyone,
Please join us to say Thank You to Department Assistant Anna Lastname on Friday, May 14, 2010 at 4:30 pm, Stuart 216.

Anna's last day is May 21, 2010.

Sincerely,
CW

What I gather from this:

People should refer to me by my full title, Department Assistant Anna Lastname and I won't be able to make it to this since I leave the office at 4:30.

Note: I did break out in a case of hives as a result of the stress. It's not modesty that makes me averse to these, it's physiological reactions.